


Pulse

by RyanTyler2294



Series: Ba Bump [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/No Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-02-29 19:37:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18784831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyanTyler2294/pseuds/RyanTyler2294
Summary: Shiro takes comfort in feeling Ulaz's heartbeat next to his.





	Pulse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [milindohoseok](https://archiveofourown.org/users/milindohoseok/gifts).



> I tried not to but I had to add this.  
> And I did drawings for the pendant [here](https://ryan-draws-fanart.tumblr.com/post/184794471442/i-wrote-a-fic-where-ulaz-and-shiro-have-matching).  
> Enjoy ^^

Shiro always found himself putting his hand over the pendant. He hadn’t seen or heard from Ulaz in many months. It brought him peace when Ulaz's heartbeat was against his chest. No matter the distance, they were still close.

The Paladins teased him about the dopey look he would get on his face when he lightly touches the pendant. But he couldn’t help it. He missed Ulaz and it was something that gave him peace of mind. After a long day or a bad night, he would let Ulaz’s heartbeat sooth him.

This also meant he could feel when Ulaz was stressed. He once woke up to a rapid thumping in his hand. He stayed up those nights and waited until he knew Ulaz was okay. He wondered if Ulaz did the same for him. If he worried whenever Shiro was on a mission or had a fitful sleep.

But Shiro had to keep a level head and stay focus on the mission. Even when talking with Kolivan to coordinate attacks he didn’t ask about Ulaz’s whereabouts. No matter how much it pained him.

“We’ll be there by tomorrow,” Shiro said to the screen. He was currently talking with Kolivan. There was a base not too far from them that appeared to be some sort of shipping terminal. Voltron provided a distraction while the Blades infiltrated and extracted information.

They have done stuff like this before so Shiro wasn’t worried about the execution.

“Ulaz wanted to speak to you,” Kolivan let out a tired sighed.

“He’s there?” Shiro tried but failed, to not look excited.

“He’s been back on base for a few days now. I agreed to give him a few minutes on this line.”

“Okay.” Shiro didn’t want to rush this along, but if they were done then he was hoping Kolivan would let Ulaz on already.

“We’re gonna give you guys some privacy,” Keith decided to leave the bridge. Shiro forgot that the others were there until he heard them filing out.

“Hey,” Ulaz appeared on the screen.

“Hey,” Was all Shiro could think to say back. He could feel when Ulaz’s heart skipped a beat.

“How have you been?”

“Good. We stopped to pick up supplies so were on a shopping planet. Didn’t know they existed until today. I guess Kolivan told Coran about this one. They don’t care about rebel groups coming through.”

“If you’re where I think you then I’m not too far from you.”

“Really, maybe we could…”

“I cannot,” Ulaz’s ears went down as he lamented, “I have to go soon. I have an undercover mission that requires discretion. I wanted to talk to you in case it ends up being a long-term position.”

“Is it dangerous?” Shiro asked.

“Yes. Not as dangerous as the last one, but I may be there for a while.”

“I miss you,” the words tumbled from Shiro’s lip without much thought. He couldn’t help but worry that this would be the last time they would get to talk, and this wasn’t even face to face. They were both constantly running into life or death situations. It came with their line of work, but that was no comfort.

“I miss you too,” Ulaz looked at him longingly. What they wouldn’t give to be back in each other’s arm just for a moment.

“Is there any way you can let me know when you’re back on base?” Shiro asked. They should have set up their own way to communicate before Ulaz left last time. But he wasn’t sure if Kolivan would allow it.

“If I ask Kolivan, he might pass on the message. But he doesn’t like others knowing of our locations, even if we’re between missions.”

“Well, maybe if you get a break we can get a day together,” Shiro said. “Turn it into a romantic outing.”

Ulaz beamed at that, “I’ll look forward to it.” He was going to say more but he looked off when someone called him before he looked back to Shiro sadly and said, “I have to go.”

“Okay,” Shiro said. “I’ll talk to you later then.”

“As soon as I can,” Ulaz promised.

“I love you,” Shiro said.

“I love you too.” Ulaz smiled lovingly. “Take care. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

The screen cut off before Shiro could say anymore. He sighed as he got up to get back to his daily duties around the ship. His hand was on his pendant again. Ulaz must be feeling nervous about this new mission because his heart rate was a little elevated.

But it stayed like that a lot after their talk. Whatever his mission was it must be dangerous. There were a few moments of calm when it would level out, but Shiro knew Ulaz was stuck in a high-stress situation. He just hoped he was okay.

“Let’s watch a movie or something,” Lance suggested after Keith mentioned how tense Shiro had been all week.

“Something lighthearted might do you some good,” Allura suggested.

They went all out and put the movie on the projector with surround sound and there was a buffet of snacks. They settled on a comedy. Shiro did manage to laugh through most of it. It was the kind of slapstick stuff that he loved. By the end of it, he was feeling a bit better, but that was only because he’d was distracted. The moment the movie ended he had his hand back over the pendant.

Ulaz’s heart rate was through the roof. Shiro sat back and waited for it to calm again, or to at least start to go down. But it had been about a minute with no signs of relief. At one point it seemed to spike and then start to slow.

Shiro was able to take a moment to smile. Ulaz would be okay soon. But his heartbeat slowed past the resting point and each beat was taking longer until it stopped. Shiro wrapped his hand around the pendant trying to find some sort of a pulse. His distress caught the attention of the other.

“What’s up?” Pidge asked.

“I think it’s broken,” Shiro said. “It just stopped.”

They all sat up at attention once he said that. They all had a feeling what it was but Shiro hadn’t seemed to make that connection yet.

“I’m not sure if it’s magic or tech but…” Shiro wasn’t sure what to do to fix it.

“Let’s take a look at it,” Allura said. Shiro was cautious about taking it off but he placed it in Allura’s hand. She ran a few tests to see why it might be malfunctioning. It was a long few minutes of Shiro hovering while she worked.

“It appears to be working fine,” Coran was the one to break the news. “If you’re not feeling his pulse then…”

“Maybe he took it off,” Shiro cut him off. “Kolivan wants to check in again today so I can just ask him.”

No one knew what to say to that. It only got worse when the meeting started and Shiro asked about Ulaz before he could even get a word in.

“I wanted to talk to you about that actually,” Kolivan looked at his with a somber expression. “I was going to save it for the end of the meeting, but I guess there’s no avoiding it.”

“What happened?” Shiro crossed his arms tightly.

“We didn’t realize that the agent he went in with had turned sides. By the time we figured it out, he knew that we were onto him. We tried to call Ulaz back in but by then he had vital information and the other agent, wouldn’t let him leave with it.”

“He’s hurt?” Shiro asked. His voice cracking as he tried to hold it together, hoping that this wasn’t the worst-case scenario.

“He was killed earlier today,” Kolivan said. “I’m sorry.”

Shiro sucked in a deep breath trying to hold it together. But he couldn’t stop the tears, had to cover his mouth to hold back his cry. But deep down he knew when he felt that last beat what had happened. It was hard to believe that all those months ago, that quick goodbye, was the last time they would hold each other. That short conversation they had a few days ago was the last time they would ever talk to each other. He wasn’t going to see Ulaz again.

It made the necklace around his neck heavy.

“I…okay,” Was all he could manage to say. He couldn’t break down in front of them. But once he wiped his eyes it felt like a flood gate had opened and he wasn’t able to hold back his grief. He’d been through so much these past few years, and Ulaz had been one of those few shining lights in his life. Ulaz was gentle and kind, and to be killed like that, for someone he trusted to turn on him.

“We’ll finish the meeting okay,” Allura said. “How about you lay down?”

He doesn’t remember how he got to his room and was only aware that he was because he accidentally used Ulaz’s pillow. It still smelled like him and that only made him cry harder.

He’d lost so much because of this damn war. His freedom, his dignity, his arm, and now Ulaz. Out of all of them, he was sure this would be the one he wouldn’t ever get over. He would forever miss feeling Ulaz’s heartbeat next to his.

Fin

**Author's Note:**

> No regrets!  
> I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
